Kaleidoscope

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Well life sometimes places situations and feelings in our life that just dont make sense. Maybe it is to test us and see how far we can be pushed before we break or possibly just to keep our lives unpredictable. I dont have an exact answer. As I look at my life and the lives of those around me I see alot of stuff that doesnt make much sense and I dont believe in fate so somebody is fucking with us? I see one of the best people I know on this Earth help out a friend and have the friend say they hate him for no reason, to meet a new lover and when he is honest about his feelings ends up with the bag guy sign pointing at him. I see two of my friends start to like each other, then both fear comittment and one ends up deciding they both should see what else is out there. I have a friend who finds the person of thier dreams and he is in Italy and wont even get to meet him for who knows how long. I have friends struggling to find soulmates, struggling to pay bills, and some struggling to find who they are. So why are all these things happening to great people? Then there is my life where Im struggling to get back on my feet, struggling with my soulmate, and trying to find myself all at the same. So I think maybe them being friends with me is so I can see each of them overcome their problem and find some light at the end of the tunnel for each of my problems. The weird thing is I dont feel sorry for any of them or myself. I know they will be fine and I know I will be. Its like Im numb to life at this point and Im just going through motions so people know Im alive. I just want the next five years of my life to be done with so I can see if anything I am doing at the moment is actually going to pay off but I guess life is a gamble and the true players will stand victorious. Well I am a true player and know I will stand high upon my moutain top looking down on the little peopel who I had to step on to get there along with the ones who treid to stop me from climbing that mountain. I have always known I was bound for greatness since I was a child. I guess Im a cocky person for feeling that way or maybe thinking that way will help me get to where I am going to end up. All I know is it is going to be a bumpy ride but the trip should pay off and not only for me for all of my friends. Keep your heads up and remember: WE DO BIG THINGS!